A blog deferment

I SO don't feel like blogging today so I'm going to defer to someone else's blog.

"Can you do that?" you ask.

"Yes" I answer.

The writer of the blog I'm deferring to doesn't even know I exist. Its kind of a blog-crush really. Do you have any of those? I first discovered this inspiring woman and her beautiful family when I was reading the comments on Laura Van Ryn's parents' blog. The woman shared with Laura's parents that she understood the pain of losing a child. It made me curious of her story. After looking over her blog that day and reading through her tragic and inspiring story, I found myself revisiting her blog day after day to see what she had been up to or what she had to say. Its been three years now and I still find myself seeing what Jody Ferlaak has to say from time to time.

So, allow me to grace you with her daily life and story via her blog. For today, enjoy a post or two from Nitty Gritty. If you have a little more time, read her story entitled "Losing Teagen-A Story of Tragedy, Forgiveness & Hope".

Who knows, maybe after writing this blog I'll conjure up the courage to introduce myself...

More fun with Grandpa Tim

Today we hit up the Shedd Aquarium. Loved those dolphins and balugas...

dogs and babies

My dad's dog, Duchess, has been around here for the past few days. During that time I have been struck by how many similarities there are between Duchess and Lucas:

*They both drool excessively

*The both get attention from others when out in public (although I was shocked--and somewhat perturbed to discover that Duchess got far more attention than Lucas at the French Market).

*They both get the word "No!" yelled at them on a regular basis.

They both induce the same sort of dorky baby talk from all of their admirers.

They are both fun to cuddle.

They both respond to their name and a handful of other words.

They both spend the whole of their existence sleeping and playing.

Both can be taken outside and played with for entertainment.

There are however some significant differences. These are items that one also may want to take into account in determining which species is right for them at their current stage of life:

*Sadly, if Duchess is lucky she will see 15 years of age. Lucas' life expectancy is a bit longer.

*When Duchess was 8 mos. old, she was walking, running, swimming, playing fetch and feeding herself. Lucas has done none of these things consistently nor successfully.

*Duchesses shots average about $100 a year plus the cost of food. The average college tuition in the 2008-2009 school year was $15,864.

Just a few observations over the past couple of days.

the helmet

With any goal there are obstacles that get in one's way which he/she must overcome. Some of the obstacles I have been forced to overcome thus far include uncooperative internet and good old fashion laziness. You are probably getting a better feel for how New Years resolutions tend to work out for me. But hey, despite a few set backs, I continue forward...

It has been great having my dad in town. Despite going 6 months to a year between visits, we always seem to pick up right where we left off. Here are a few photos from today's bike ride. Lucas' first ride ever! He loved it, especially the helmet...oh wait that was me who loved the helmet:)

Are you kidding me? As if his head wasn't large enough in proportion to his body. The similarities are uncanny:

Dad is always a good time:)

A little quality Grandpa/Lucas time.

And one more just for kicks.

Low and High

One of the summers I worked at Springhill Camp, the staff had this tradition of going around the table at dinner and sharing their "low point" and their "high point" for the day. It was a chance to vent about the annoying and express gratefulness for the good. So...

Today's low: Trying to unload a grocery cart at the checkout of a busy Walmart while holding a cranky baby who refuses to let me put him down but also insists on weighing 24 lbs and being ridiculously squirmy.

Today's high: Enjoying a delightfully cool evening in the backyard with my dad (he just got in town this afternoon), Mark, Lucas and Duchess (dad's black lab)--while watching the last two mentioned individuals get acquainted:) I think they're buddies now.

a question for you

For a few months now I have been reading about and researching a bit about eating organically--or "ethically" as the strong proponents call it. I'm pretty convinced of the benefits (although the 20 oz. diet coke I just downed might suggest differently). So with this topic in mind, I wanted to pick your brain with a question:

Do you think it is possible (and practical) to eat organically AND affordably? If yes, how??? If no, which do you think should be the priority--organic eating or thrifty grocery shopping and why?

I know many of you have been contemplating some similar issues and I'd love to hear your thoughts/suggestions/ideas.

Dallas, feel free to ask the experts...

Well, today is the first day in my little 30 day challenge in which I am struggling for inspiration to blog. So what was my first move? What any modern-day, internet-savvy individual would do. Naturally, I googled "topics to blog about". This took me to "24 Things to Do When Stuck for a Topic to Blog About"

I'll admit that this is a pretty common (and extremely lazy) method that I have chosen when I find myself tired of thinking. I kid you not, I have googled things like "What should I get Marky for our first Valentine's Day?" "What should I name my son?" "I think my baby is crying too much. How do I make him stop?" and "How do I help my client with Schizoaffective Disorder?"

Scary huh?

While Google may not be the proper venue through which to find that perfect gift for a new boyfriend or to create a treatment plan for a client, it has assisted in this blog.

And so for that, I thank you Google in all your colorful and holiday-themed glory. You have brought me one day closer to my goal.

And who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll even have the energy to try one of the suggestions of things to do when stuck for a topic. But then again, just maybe the inspiration will return...

beautiful boy

Close your eyes
Have no fear
The monster's gone
He's on the run and your daddy's here
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
' Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy

Finding Summer

I don't remember who wrote it or where I read it, but it stuck with me...This woman was sharing how when summer begins to show itself, she will wake up on a Saturday morning and declare to her husband, "Let's go find summer today." Despite my Scandinavian roots, I'm not a big fan of the cold. When I'm outside and its cold, its like someone made the record skip. All that's running through my head is "Its cold--Its cold--Its cold."
Someone declares, "Just look at those mountains!"
Outwardly I delcare, "beautiful!!"
but inwardly: "Its cold."
"Isn't this fresh air amazing?"
Outwardly: "Amazing."
Inwardly, the record continues: "Its cold."

And then comes summer, with its easy skirt, t-shirt and flip-flop dressing, its lazy sunny afternoons outside, its sun-kissed shoulders, its farmers markets filled with fresh produce, its bike rides, its lakes and pools and so much more. Now the thing is, its not always easy to find summer. Especially when summer vacations are a thing of the past.

This past weekend, Mark and I drove up to Door County for a little "us time" to celebrate 4 years together as hubby and wife. I am happy to say, we found summer. A hike along the bluffs, standing ankle-deep in the water and letting the waves lap against our legs, laying in the sand, ice cream along the lake, wine-tasting, dinner outside watching the sunset. Yes, we found summer. It was great to see that old and faithful friend.

Here's the proof:

4 years

revival and diversity

I begin this post with two precursors: 1) I fully and whole-heartedly believe Jesus when He said that He is the way, the truth and the life. 2) I am utterly and totally grateful for the culture I grew up in...ok, with those things in mind, you can keep reading:)


I was praying with a group of people a while back and found myself flinching when someone started praying for revival for their city. I found this a strange reaction for me to have. What is it about the term "revival" that caused something inside of me to feel so unsettled?

I thought about what "revival" means to me. Sadly, the first vision that comes to mind is a beautiful Indian woman replacing her colorful traditional clothing and shimmering jewelry for jeans and a Christian t-shirt. Obviously this is no where near the essence of revival but its honestly where my mind went.

When I think about revival, I don't envision transformation, I envision conformation. I envision an expectation that everyone become as close to a white, middle-class evangelical as possible. I envision conforming to a culture where you are expected to know phrases and acronyms like "BSF", "EV Free", "Contemporary Service", "Prayer of Jabez" and "popcorn prayer".

I am so grateful for the beautiful cultures and the diversity that fill this world. I love seeing various forms of magnificent and unique clothing. I love tasting foods that reveal flavors you never knew existed. I love the ornateness of a Hindu temple. I love the mystery of a woman covered in tattoos. And the sultry moves of a latino couple dancing. The amazing diversity in this world is such a testament to me of God's grandness and his utter creativity.

Revival does not mean conformation to any one specific culture. If it did, I believe that God would want nothing to do with it. Rather, revival equals transformation. It equals Christ entering into each beautiful and unique culture and redeeming it in a respectful and powerful way. Now that's something I can most definitely get behind. And with that vision in mind, I pray for revival.

Evidence

You ask for evidence watson, you get evidence.
Note the date in the left hand corner. That makes it legit.

I work for DCFS

I work for DCFS.

For many, that conjures up all sorts of negative images. There’s the stories of the mom who spanks her kid in the grocery store and DCFS comes to investigate. Or on the other extreme, there are the stories of children experiencing abuse but its not “bad enough” or there are no visible marks so the kids stay in their abusive homes. Then there’s the foster mom who takes in eight kids just for the cash. When you hear “DCFS”, you might envision over-worked, under-paid, burnt out workers who just don’t care anymore. Tragically there is some truth to all of these stereotypes.

However, as I’m becoming more acquainted with the system, I am enthralled with the “ideal”. In a perfect world and a perfect system, the intentions of DCFS are beautiful, good, and dare-I-say-it, Christ-like. The big word in child welfare in Illinois is “reunification”. The goal of child welfare is to take the child out of the home for as short a period of time as possible so mom and/or dad can get their stuff together and then parent and child can be “reunified”.

There are lots of beautiful words out there and I would like to add that one to the list. Christ is all about reunification. Christ experienced suffering and death so that we might be reunified to the Father. And as we walk through this life, we become closer to reunification with who we were before the fall of humankind. Unification is at the center of God’s heart. He is in unity with the three persons within himself and longs for this oneness for and with us. For our marriages, our relationships, our cities, our churches, our world. There was a time, a short time, when unity was the way of life. And all of history has been a journey back to that place, back to reunification.

In its perfect state, “the system” has such potential. It is intended to care for and protect children and to provide families to come along side and assist in the redemption of other families, using the tools of kindness and dignity. I’m not sure where along the line things got screwed up. But I am here to say that the system works. Not in its fullness or all of the time. But in individual families and individual lives, redemption and reunification are happening. And I am convinced that if His spirit and heart is present in DCFS, He is weaving His goodness and hope into all of the broken systems of the world.

a happy father's day

This past Saturday we celebrated an early Father's Day in the city since we'll be out of town next weekend. We ended up also getting to spend the day with Dallas, Callie and Jon. It ended up being a pretty great day.


Lucas hanging out with the big kids at the Children's Museum at Navy Pier.


Callie and Lucas making very cute bugs.


Jon and Lucas chillin' on the couch...note also that this photo was taken PRE-Callie and I beating Mark and Jon at two games in a row of Sequence. You can tell by his hopeful smile.


Mom and Lucas at Goose Island Brew Pub. I dare you to find another 8 mos. old who has been to as many breweries and brew pubs as this guy.


Its hard to tell in this photo, but dad and Lucas are sporting coordinating father's day t-shirts.


It has been an absolute pleasure watching Mark grow into this new role of "dad". He is a completely loving, quirky, sensitive and kind dad. Happy Father's Day Hubby!
We love you.

I'd like to use a lifeline

So in my effort towards 30 posts, I have decided to provide myself with 2 "lifelines" for days that I just can't get around to posting (like yesterday).

#1 The first lifeline is "the pill" lifeline. If you've ever been on "the pill" and missed a day, they just tell you to double up the next day. I will be doing the same.

#2 The second lifeline is "the snow day" lifeline. Remember when you were in grade school and found out that you had to have an extra day of school at the end of the year because of a snow day earlier in the year? Yep, same idea.

In regards to my missing post yesterday, I'd like to use lifeline #2.

Thanks.

Yes, I laid in bed thinking about this last night.

mommy low point

So, last Monday I had one of those moments where I had to repeat to myself "I'm not a terrible mother" over and over again. But it wasn't working.

So let me paint the picture. Its 7:56am on a Monday morning. I was supposed to have left by 7:30am. But since I never set an alarm anymore (thanks to "the lucas alarm") and Lucas decided to sleep in until 7:30am today, I was extremely extremely late. Granted, not the first time I've been late, but that subject is for another post. So I've got Lucas, I've got my coffee, purse, file thingy for work, lunch, and I'm off down the road. Frick! Cellphone. I turn the car around. Pull into the driveway. Throw it into park. Run into the house. Grab the phone. Run back out.

Oh my gosh, the car is locked.

Yes, with Lucas still inside. I ran in frantic. "Mark! I locked Lucas in the car!" My first thought was to determine which window to break. But as we assessed the situation further, we determined that Lucas was in no immediate danger so we decided to call our road-side-assistance people instead (although I did make a mental note of which window I would break if ever needed in the future). I was a little stressed at first but Lucas thought it was a fun game as we popped in and out of sight at the window next to him. But after a while, the laughter turned into a fuss, which quickly turned into hysterical crying. I am pretty sure that the neighbors passing by could deduct exactly what was going on as they witness these two frantic parents jumping around, holding stuffed animals and toys up to the window of a running car.

So, as Lucas became more hysterical, so did I. It was unbearable really, watching him cry and look at me with these helpless eyes. And i could do nothing for him.

Well, alas, after an hour of waiting (why it took an entire hour is a story I will not go into), Lucas was rescued by a very nice man from Sycamore with two children of his own. He assured us that this happens to everyone.

Sure, we'll go with that.

So, there you go. Let Lucas' list of reasons for needing therapy when he's 30 begin.

Sorry little bug:(

Three weekends ago our friends Jon and Callie were here. At the time, Lucas was what I called "a strategic roller". He would see where he wanted to go and then pivot himself and roll until he got there. All the while making adjustments in his angles along the way. Quite impressive. Well, we were all watching him and saying, "In just a few weeks I bet he'll be crawling."

Well, now, not only is he crawling, he's also pulling himself up to standing and carefully walking around the furniture. His favorite place in the house to be now is 2" from the TV screen. Preferrably with the TV on. Don't worry all you moms out there, we quickly direct him elsewhere.

It is simply unbelievable how quickly these little people change.



This is what I was greeted with when I came into his room this morning. i will admit that it takes a little bit of the sting out of being drug out of bed well before I'm ready.

Day 1

I love to write. I feel most connected with myself when I'm writing. The things that are important to me become important again. And the things that are unimportant to me go back to being unimportant. Because of this, I have decided to blog everyday for the next 30 days. So today through July 9th. Most days' posts will probably be as boring as dirt but the goals are documentation and cultivation. Documenting more of our life and cultivating growth in something I enjoy doing.