Springbreak vacation BOOKED!

The last time Mark and I were on a bonafide vacation was, well, our honeymoon. Thanks to my parents who had a timeshare they weren't using, we've now got a springbreak trip planned to...



San Francisco!!











Lake Tahoe!!












and Yosemite National Park!!!





We are so freaking pumped!! Only 6 months to go. West Coast here we come!!!

addiction

Well I am officially INTO the counseling program. My life and time is FILLED with self-reflection. Between my mentor, my therapist, my supervisor, and my spiritual formation group, Denver Seminary is not gonna let me out of here the same. It was fun at first but at times can be just plain exhausting.

One of the classes I'm taking right now is called "Addictions." Basically it just addresses counseling individuals dealing with addictions. The class has been really really good so far. Part of the class entails weekly journaling about what we are reading or the lectures or whatever else we've been thinking about...yes, more self-reflection. I wanted to share one journal entry...

I've never experienced the addictiveness of drugs or alcohol and yet, this past Friday, when my husband and I were sitting at a middle eastern restaurant I found myself connecting with the unwelcomed alcoholic making a scene, more so than the middle-aged couple sitting next to us. As I watched the man staggering, with his eyes glazed over, talking too loudly, I felt a piece of me getting kicked out of that restaurant as the manager escorted him to the door with threats of calling the police. It was really weird. I was sitting there, watching this man, shamed, disgraced, and making a scene in the restaurant. After he left, I looked down at my food with this moment of odd realization that I am one of the respected paying customers and not the “loser addict”. I needed grace at that moment. A lot of it. A helping bigger than the falafel on the plate in front of me. I could hear the name calling and snickering at the tables around me and found my own face turning red. Throughout life there have been seasons, some short, some long, where I have been entrapped by my own addictions, many too personal to share here. They consumed my thoughts and my heart at various times. I felt trapped. Imprisoned. There are journals sitting in a closet, filled with my prayers to God to release me, to make this day a new day, to make me different.

As I write this, I feel like I would normally feel proud of my exceptional empathy and the heart I had for this man. But see, that’s not really what it was. That’s not really what I was feeling. Through that man, I was experiencing my own shame, exposure, and vulnerability. I felt deserving of the same callous and harsh treatment from the manager as he was receiving. But I don’t receive it. Why? Because I go to work and class sober, dress well, shower regularly, and say and do socially appropriate things. My addictions aren’t as evident to the world and therefore I am treated with dignity and respect.
Its funny. Every person in that restaurant had vices and/or some kind of addiction that they’ve probably been trying to kick for months, years, maybe even decades. But this man was chosen to take upon himself our shame and disgrace on Friday. Anything to take the attention off of ourselves and our own shame. And as an added bonus, everyone got to feel a little better about themselves for not being a drunk and a beggar. Well, at least not on Friday.

out of my league

Here's a pic of the little guy.








Today was the first full day that I nannied for my new little family. Elise is 3, Sophia is 1 1/2, and Gavin is 4 months old (shown above at 5 months). There have been a lot of anxieties churning in my head over the past week in anticipation of my first day with such young kids.

What if I don't know enough about babies?
What if, half way through the day, I realize I've only got two with me?
What if the baby never gets used to me?
What if...while Elise is washing her hands, I hear Sophia choking on her hot dog, to get there just in time to hear elise fall off her bathroom stool and crack her head open, just in time to hear a huge thud from Gavin falling off the bed?

Morbid I know. But my mind can tend to go there.

So yeah, after the first day was over, I am happy (and even a little bit proud) to say,



everything went well.



I mean don't get me wrong, there were of course a few face plants, a finger shut in a dresser drawer (sorry elise), a wet bed, some digested wood chips and playdoh, and a floor covered in cream of wheat but that's all very typical...right? But outside of those things, there were a few small victories and sweet sweet moments that made the day so fun. Like when Sophia face planted for the third time and actually raised her hands in the air to me...ME! And when Gavin finally fell asleep tucked in my arms after finishing all 5 oz. of his formula. Love that. I'm looking forward to more sweet moments.

Eva Rae

My grandma recently celebrated her 83rd birthday.

I didn't get to be with her on her birthday. This picture is from about a month ago when I was in the Chicago area for a wedding and went down to visit her for the day. Its hard to say what it is about Eva Rae that is so endearing. The best phrase I can use to describe her is to comment on her

"heart of gold".

She is a beautiful woman who has loved deeply in her life. This past year has been an especially difficult one for her as my grandpa passed away in February, her husband of nearly 60 years. The commitment and tenderness that she provided grandpa was something truly supernatural. I wish you could have seen the way that my grandpa used to brag about my grandma, calling her his bride and his honey up to the very last days of his life.

Eva Rae Dietrich's deepest loves in life are her family and her Father. In her younger years she was an incredibly gifted singer and pianist. She could still out-play and out-sing most who are reading this. She once recalled that as a young lady in her teens and twenties, parties were known as times to "swing and sway with Eva Rae".

It certainly has a ring to it:)

This Post is an opportunity for me to reflect on the sweet, caring, dynamic, beautiful person that she is. I will never forget at my grandpa's wake, as she greeted each person that walked in with such enthusiasm and sincerity reminiscing on old times with them. She is and has always been a vibrant and self-giving woman.

An inspiration.

I hope you get to meet her sometime.

therapy for the soul

Well, once again, the posts are few and far between. So I guess I'm going to just stop apologizing about it and accept that Lindsey the student just doesn't mix well with Lindsey the blogger. But for now, I am only taking 5 credits and and working 16 hours so the enemy time appears to have lightened his oppressive hand if even for just a few moments.

The Meyers' just returned from a memorial day weekend of camping in the Spanish Peaks. We would like to consider the weekend a sort of marriage therapy...minus the therapy.

To Those Who Didn't Believe America was crazy

With having so many friends involved internationally I've heard the insanity that exists in other countries. Whether it's two dozen time tables and fees required to get out of the country, or the absolute lack licensing laws for doctors and other professionals. Let this story be a testimony to the insanity that exists inside the state of the Union known as Colorado.

To obtain a driver's license. By Mark Meyers

It all started when for the first time in my entire life I permanently lost my wallet. It was at that fateful moment I lost my Illinois driver's license that would lead me down an indescribable path. A path of anger, pain, parents, humor and lots of money and time.

So after driving for a month without any license I decided it would be prudent to get a new one in case, God forbid, I was ever pulled over (plus I wanted to get a part-time job as a shuttle bus driver). So I did my research on the internet. What I found was that I needed my home state driving record. This led me the Illinois Secretary of State's website. I mailed in my signed request along with a $12 check.... and I waited.

$12

3 weeks later it arrives in the mail. "Typical for bureaucracy", I thought. I waited another week. I left early for work on Tuesday morning, pulled a number and waited. Once called up I turned over all relevant documents. After examining the driving record she pointed out to me that the record needed to be generated within 30 days. The record was printed 1/20/07 and the day was 2/23/07. I was 3 bloody days late! I needed a new one. They simply would not budge on this issue.

After calling the Illinois secretary of state's office I discovered a parent could get a driving record at an actual DMV site. My dad paid the appropriate fees, $12, and faxed to me.

$12+$12

I walked in Wednesday morning, pulled my number and waited. My number was called called, showed them my documents and was then informed that faxes are unacceptable. They needed the original. "You mean the original printed from the printer from 1988?! The 'original' that I could have typed up Word?!"
"Yes that one", they replied. Well a quick phone call to my dad and I had it priority mailed to me.

$4.05+$12+$12

Monday morning, fully armed and ready. "Suck it Colorado"... so I thought. I walked in and took my number and went through the well ingrained ritual. I showed them my documents.
"Wait, what's this? Is this birth certificate authentic."
"Well, it's the one used to get my social security card and passport. Plus the multi-colored stamp that says 'This multi-color stamp authenticates this birth certificate. Any birth certificate without a colored stamp is a copy'. So I would say that it's authentic."

::wait 2 minutes::

"This is a city birth certificate."
"Yeah, so."
"Well Colorado requires state or county certificate. Any city clerk could have signed off on this. This authentic birth certificate that was used to obtain your social security card and passport is invalid!"
"This was the one I was born with. Where else am I going to get one?!"
So after discussing the logistics of it with her and having my mom do some research with a social worker, my mom went to a Cook county court house, paid the appropriate fees and priority mailed it to me.

$4.05+$13+$4.05+$12+$12

Today: I walked in victoriously knowing that nothing can stand in my way between me and my licenses. I eagerly pulled a number and couldn't wait to shove all the documents in their faces and tell them "suck it" because I was getting my license. My number was called and I did just what I pictured, shoved the documents in their faces and told to "suck it". The man behind the desk had no choice but to give me the vision test and then my license. I stick my head in the machine and was told, "Read the first line"
"ZRHTP OECDQ"
"Ah sir, there are 15 letters"
"What do you mean?! There are only two columns of letters, the left column is just a column of dull yellow."
"No son, there's a whole column of letters on the left-hand side"
Convinced he was lying I pulled my head out and stuck it back in and focused like I've never focused before. I focused like I did when I was a little kid trying to catch the sexual innuendos in the Disney movies.
Nothing! Freaking nothing! I kept thinking my eyes would come into focus. So I gave myself five minutes. Still nothing. "FINE YOU WIN!" America's Best here I come, home of the free exam with two glasses for $69.

$69(plus taxes)+$4.05+$13+$4.05+$12+$12

Monday morning I will walk into the Colorado DMV and humble myself before them, cleanse my lips with a burning coal, bring an unblemished slaughtered kid, my corrected vision and the $16 fee and perhaps I will be deemed worthy enough for a Colorado license.

$16+$69(plus taxes)+$4.05+$13+$4.05+$12+$12= One legal driver and the new part-time shuttle bus drive for the Children's Hospital!

welcome back :)

I realize that a lot of people (and by that I mean the 6 that were reading it…hi mom:) have probably given up on our blog. There were those few weeks after our last post that you checked in to see if anything new had been posted…nope. And after about a month and a half you probably just stopped checking. A small part of me experiences a certain kind of freedom in that realization. I could probably write almost anything and chances are no ones gonna read it for a very long time. A lot has happened over the past 5 months since I have stopped posting. Nothing monumental…just some growing pains, some funny stories, and some special moments. As I reflect on the pictures that rush to my mind, these are some key memories that emerge:

Making a coffee table with dad.
Lots of time in airports.
Snow.
Skiing with my new favorite ski buddy Shmem.
Mid-day chats with mom.
Sitting on the couch reading for hours upon hours.
Bears football.
Watching my sister live in a world that I remember so well, and making it her own.
Class.
Forming new friendships w/ Whitney, Nicole, Brent, Jen and others.
Resurging old friendships.
Snow.
Make-your-own-pizza night.
Loving Dallas (the girl not the city) even more than I already did.
Facebook.
Midterms and Finals.
Snow.
Being forced to redefine “home”.
Doing life in a very beautiful place.
Saying hello and goodbye to my grandpa for what felt like the last time.
Kenya, Uganda and Sudan.
Discovering that Rocky is so much more than a boxer with a low IQ.
Snow.
Being played the fool and forced to dig into a part of me that was uncharted territory.
J. Crew.
A new found phone date with Monica.
Learning a little more about what community is and what it takes.
Becoming more and more ok with myself.
Mark never ceasing to amaze me with his patience, humility, and kindness.

They’re just snapshots but they represent a life. A life that, by the grace of God, is being lived. I look 5 years ahead and the uncertainty is so scary. I look 5 months behind and I see the growth, the friends, and the experiences that I deeply long for but don’t even know how to pray for. And for that, in this moment, at this second, I am very thankful. Period.

ok, back to studying…