Striving

I think I heard almost all there is to hear about Christianity by the time I was like 20 years old. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean to say that I lived it, I had just heard it. I think that if at this point on in my life if I didn't learn one more new thing but instead just began to know with my heart the things that I have already learned, I would be 10 times the woman I am now.

The first "biblical concept" that I probably ever learned was God's unconditional, unrelenting, and pure love for me. But for an individual who has never performed those three adjectives in their rawest and truest form once in her life, its really hard to wrap an understanding around that love of God's.

I just finished reading "searching for God Know's What" by Donald Miller. He talks about how he thinks the thing that defines human personalities is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to one another. Ha. Now a few people that know me well, would know that I would strongly agree with this statement. He talks about how before the fall, our one and only source of rich and fulfilling love came from our Creator. But then came the betrayal. And that direct source was broken. When we turned our backs on God the way an adulterous spouse turns his/her back on their one true lover, we lost that perfect line of communication. And for the rest of history we have been trying to restore this Perfect Source of Love. So we find it in any source we can. And the easiest way is to prove to ourselves and the world how deserving we are of love. So we place a number value on everything we say and think and do, and on everything everyone else says and thinks and does. And then we strive. We strive and strive to improve our worthiness of love and value. So then when someone cuts us off on the highway, we get really pissed off because they just implied that they have more value than us. Or when someone owns up on us in basketball we either get frustrated at our shortcomings or rationalize in our mind something that we can do better than our competitor and then we feel better about ourselves again.

Its a tiring game isn't it? And yet, before us, is this source of perfect and fulfilling love that can bring the game to an end. Hmmm...this is where my thoughts and prayers continue to go. How do I finally know and experience that Perfect Source of Love? Because only at that point can I minister purely and wholy to my neighbor.

Donald points out the Disciples. They saw and experienced the righteous love of Christ, in His eyes, His words, His embraces. And many of them, because of knowing and experiencing that love, were able to go on to die for Him. Why? Because of their belief that He really existed? No. Because it made them feel better than the guy persecuting them? No. Because they knew His love. First-hand.

Hmm, the day my eyes are opened to His love in its fullness, is gonna be a good day.

So anyways, those are just a few of the thoughts from the book and that have been rolling around in my head. The book was a good one. Especially the last chapter. And just in case Donald Miller happens to fall across this blogspot (fat chance): Thanks for your thoughts Mr. Miller.